is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
