Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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