That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
