Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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