Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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