shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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