remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
