it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
