just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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