i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
