But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize