I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize