You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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