we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
