I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
