This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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