Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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