so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize