i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
