508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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