Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
