then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
