I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
