i barfeds in our rink
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
