conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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