So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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