oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
