We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Success! We fucked roommates!
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