I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
sarcasm needs its own font
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
