Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
