that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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