this boner is exhausting
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
