she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
