The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
