I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
