it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
