pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
