i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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