ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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