i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
