Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
