I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
