does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
