is your mom at the bar?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
