i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
