haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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