I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
