READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
