He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
