it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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