It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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