It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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