I am puke
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
