Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
