My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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