yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
