It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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