I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
