Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize