so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
