I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
